WHY REMODELING MAY NOT MAKE YOU AS HAPPY YOU THINK
And Why Fixing Your Leaky Toilet May Make You Happier Than You Can Imagine

What's the connection between green remodeling and happiness? Most people undertake a remodeling project because they believe the change will make them happier in their home. While this is a reasonable assumption, the emerging field of "happiness studies" reveals that we are not always great judges of what will make us happy. In fact, it turns out that we often waste a lot of energy on things that are not satisfying, or only briefly so. By paying attention to these psychological dimensions of making changes to your home, you can better identify and stay focused on those things that make you feel content and nurtured, while avoiding big investments of time, money and resources on those things that do not.

FOCUSING ON BIG SOLUTIONS vs. FIXING MINOR PROBLEMS
Human psychology is such that we tend to focus inordinately on the happiness we think we will derive from big changes in our lives and discount the pleasure to be had by eliminating minor and frequent annoyances. We tend to underestimate the toll which those small daily irritations take on us while exaggerating the impact big changes will make.

We see this with clients who focus on creating new or bigger spaces instead of first fixing all the minor problems with their current living area. People will point to a basement with a low ceiling, a few small windows and copious amounts of ducts and plumbing and believe that fixing this up is what they need to spend more time with their family, while their existing toy-strewn living room with an uncomfortable couch and poor lighting sits empty. This leads us to one of our primary suggestions for remodeling:

1. Identify all the small things in your current living area that don't work or bother you and address these items first before you start making bigger changes.

Starting with the small stuff has many advantages.

• It is usually less expensive and therefore more easily affordable in the near future.
• By working on smaller stuff you can see what you can do personally versus what you would prefer to have a professional do.
• It gives you a good sense of the time and energy it takes to manage changes to your home which is a valuable perspective to have for larger remodels.
• Small changes are often inherently greener because they require fewer resources, especially if you are repairing something instead of replacing it.
• The smaller scale of decision making also means that you may have the time needed to consider the greenest options.
• In doing small projects you may develop a better sense of what types of changes make you happier. You may even discover that you no longer desire to make some bigger changes.

We had clients who had a list of changes they wanted to make to their great room including updating the kitchen cabinets which you could see from every vantage point. After fixing smaller problems throughout the room and upgrading some surfaces, they found that the kitchen cabinets no longer bothered them, saving both the planet and themselves the expense.

Two sources of irritation that are often overlooked or underestimated include clutter and cleaning. While some people are unaffected by clutter, for most people it serves consciously or unconsciously as a visual and functional irritant. Constantly confronting kitchen counters, mantles, table tops, and floors piled with stuff can take a lot of energy to ignore and work around. If you take a moment to simply clear off one of these spaces and notice how your body and breath changes you will see how much energy clutter can consume.

We have found that decluttering is an enormous source of happiness for our clients. Many people report actually smiling as they look each day at places in their home that are clutter free. Imagine smiling daily as you look around your home! Therefore our second suggestion is:

2. Declutter and clean your home regularly to create more sparkle in your life.

Decluttering and cleaning are best accomplished when they are broken down into fairly frequent and easy things to do. "Deep cleaning" in which furniture is moved to dislodge colonies of dust bunnies and spiders, walls are washed, curtains are cleaned, etc. is only needed every few months. There are now several companies that offer to clean your home using green products and methods. However you go about it, be sure that you are not adding toxic to your home in the process.

PREVENTING "PROJECT CREEP"
We find that some of our clients tend to increase the scope and the resources required for their projects over time, otherwise known as "project creep." While they start out with a remodeling plan based on firm financial and green goals, as the project proceeds, their desire for "more" accelerates, eventually busting through these monetary and environmental goals. Three-foot bathroom vanities need to be 6 feet, new lighting is needed throughout the house, and budget busting $800 bath tub fillers are a must. What is happening?

Again, happiness studies may offer some insights. One finding is that we tend to overestimate our regret over missed opportunities. This may translate into the belief that once we have embarked on a remodeling project we should include all our possible wants, current and future, real and imagined, and that by doing so we will be happier with the outcome.

While it is true that major remodels are few and far between and certain changes are better made at one time, the problem comes when we begin to see this bathroom remodel as our last chance to attain happiness. Before we know it, our life will be dismal unless we get the two-person walk-in shower, separate sinks, and towel warmers. Planning for every possible contingency and pleasure because it is now or NEVER can get you into some serious project creep.

Research also indicates that the impact of good events is less intense and wears off faster than people imagined. So after the excitement of making one change to our home has passed, we seek out ways to reignite that excitement by making yet another change. As we adjust to one improvement we look around for our next improvement high. This leads us to our third suggestion:

3. Write out your financial, functional and green goals for your project and post them where you can refer to them easily (near the phone or home computer are good places). Check your decisions against these goals regularly.

There are lots of decisions that need to be made during a remodel, and in the overload and confusion of the moment it is easy to loose sight of the end goal. By referring to your goals you can better evaluate how a specific decision does or does not fit into your goals and budget.

It can also be useful to have some of your other life goals in mind as you make decisions about your home. We had one client who wanted to remodel her kitchen, and after contemplating the budget required to make the all the desired changes she decided to scale back the project in order to have the money to send her daughter to a better school. We applauded her decision and helped her to identify some of the irritants around her kitchen that she could eliminate at a greatly reduced cost.

Another complicating factor in decision making is the fact that we tend to make different decisions when we are in emotionally intense states called "hot" states, as opposed to when we are in an emotionally calmer "cold" state. No doubt advertising, product showrooms and salespeople seek to create hot states in order to encourage us to make choices that we would decide against in a cooler state. Moreover, a big remodeling project can result in some people being in a constant "hot" state during which rational decisions get harder and harder to make. This brings us to our fourth suggestion:

4. Avoid making decisions in "hot" states with good planning and preparation.

One of the best ways to avoid hot states is to do as much planning as possible before you begin to remodel. This way you can make decisions in a cool state when you have more time and resources to make considered choices. We had very reasonable clients who had to make a relatively hurried decision about a shower fixture so that the plumber could do his work. In their haste they didn't realize that the fixture they had chosen cost $2,000. By the time they realized what they had done, the plumber had finished installing the specific plumbing for that shower. They learned that changing to a cheaper fixture would still cost nearly the same after paying the restocking and new plumbing fees.

Create a checklist of all the components you will need during a remodel to track the specific items you want and when you need them by. Generally it is best to decide on the major elements first like sinks, bathtubs and refrigerators, and make your way down the list to smaller items, like light switch covers, in order to create a coordinate materials palette and to stay within your budget. If working with a builder or contractor, you will need to discuss by when they need certain decisions and which materials you will purchase and which they will buy. Often contractors need to know the specifications of an item so that they can make structural, electrical and plumbing decisions long before the installation of a fixture. A lack of coordination in this area can lead to a lot of hot state decisions for you and your builder down the road. Also remember that many products are not in stock and require lead times of several weeks to a month or more. It is good to leave some margin of time for delays and mistakes too.

WHAT REALLY MAKES US HAPPY
Study after study indicates that the real sources of happiness are not granite countertops or even big mudrooms with adequate storage, but rather the quality of our social interactions with our friends and family. So while it is important to create a home that functions well and nurtures you, if creating that home significantly injures your ability to be a good friend or family member, it is time to readjust your approach. No house is worth ruining a good marriage or neglecting friends for. Likewise, being saddled with a large debt from remodeling that forces you to work more and connect less will not make you happier in the end. This leads us to our final suggestion:

5. Seek out the support of friends and the advice of professionals during your remodel.

Remodeling is difficult and complex, and it can frequently be overwhelming and isolating. Most of the really happy remodeling stories we hear are when people found ways to include their friends (and sometimes their family) in the process. Furthermore, inviting friends over to see your work in progress can be a good way for more people to learn about what is involved in making changes to a home and for you to get some perspective on the changes you are making.

Professionals are another good resource for filling the gaps in your skill sets and knowledge. They can help you to accomplish your goals in a reasonable timeframe as well. A remodel that drags out for months can be stressful. We find with do-it-yourself projects it is often the tasks at the end of the remodel which people have the most difficulty completing. By budgeting money for some professional help, you will have the option to hire a professional in case you run into a problem or need help finishing a project.

Generally we have found that the clients who are happiest with the changes to their homes and the least stressed during the process are those who develop a clear vision of what is important to them and who can consistently make decisions that fit within their budget and values.


© Beth Meredith and Eric Storm, May 2008